I started my career as a photographer by shooting self-portraits.

At some point, I suddenly realized that I didn't have any photos at all. Since I'm a rather private person, I didn't want to turn to anyone. I just bought a camera and started taking pictures of myself.

I want to look deeper,

master the art of visual poetry. Learning not just to tell a story with the help of photography, but to embed it into everyday life is easy, free and poetic. This is my task for the near future, and maybe for the rest of my life — it's too difficult

I quickly got tired of the monotony of the pictures, and I started building

some decorations, something to draw on yourself. After some time, I tried to photograph other people. And I liked it: I realized that I could work with other people's images. To draw something from others, to be inspired by them.

Working with myself at some point ceased to satisfy

my needs. The hobby, which initially seemed to me an attribute of self-therapy, has become something more. Now it seems to me that I am treating other people. Photography has found meaning for me, that's why I continue to do it. Just beautiful pictures — that's the point I don't see. There are a lot of them on the Internet. Why else breed.

01 / About

self - portrait:
Anastasia Zhilinskaya

02 / Works

I realized that I can work with other people's images. To draw something from others, to be inspired by them.

I immediately decided that I would not take on something that I was not interested in

and not close in style. This is probably wrong. I've heard that at the beginning of my career (and I'm just starting my own), you need to take on everything to get to the top. I approach it in a different way: I create my own style, my own vision — and demonstrate it so that people come to me for it. Because if I take on everything in a row, I will hate this case.

I approach it differently somehow:

I create my own style, my own vision — and demonstrate it so that people come to me for it. Because if I take on everything in a row, I will hate this case.

Before I started shooting, I was developing photos.

And at some point I bought a film camera just to develop my first film on my own. I was shooting all sorts of nonsense and dreamed of developing it as soon as possible. I didn't care what exactly was on that tape. Now I film not commerce and not creativity, but everyday scenes, self-portrait, lovers.

03 / Style

04 / Images

Now it seems to me that I am treating other people.

Most often I find models myself and offer them my ideas

for filming. The fact is that basically I create photo interpretations of my dreams, which suggest the topic. The search and embodiment of femininity, finding yourself. I'm just looking for girls through Instagram, through friends. And in some of them I see a feminine spark that I don't think I have. And I want to photograph them in order to somehow pass it through myself and, perhaps, appropriate it. It sounds a bit anthropophagic, because in fact I can't completely appropriate someone else's features, I know that perfectly well. I sort of reflect them, admire them, and so I can look for myself.

Basically, I create

photo interpretations of their dreams, which suggest the topic. The search and embodiment of femininity, finding yourself.

It sounds a bit anthropophagic, because in fact

I can't completely appropriate someone else's features, I know that perfectly well. I sort of reflect them, admire them, and so I can look for myself.

This is something I couldn't achieve by taking self-portraits.

Isolated self-examination does not help in the search. Interaction with other people is necessary. All you will find in yourself is a pile of some insults, memories, chewed—up stories that do not shine with novelty. Everything beautiful that you can create, you do not dig up, but construct. And people help you with this. Opposites attract, their collision releases energy — and everything spins.

Dark background and harsh harsh light on the model are my main tools

I have often noticed that I look at things too polar.

Either in a sharply positive or in a negative way. But photography sometimes tells more about the author than he wants to tell about himself. I have been watching horror movies with pleasure since I was a child. I remember that during my school years I got up at five in the morning to watch another movie before leaving home.

Dark background and harsh light

on the model — my main tools. I don't think about their meaning, I just feel that it's right for me. Basically, I create photo interpretations of my dreams, which suggest the topic.

Mom scolded me, said that it would distort my psyche.

But that wasn't what twisted her. After all, horror is fiction, staging, artificiality of characters and situations, deliberate intensity of emotions that should reach the audience that occupy the last rows in the cinema hall. The drama of life, real events frighten and hurt much more than scary stories.

05/ Look

06 / Music

I have two main interests — photography and music.

Sometimes I write soundtracks in addition to my photos. Sometimes it seems to me that I should choose one thing, but it's very difficult. At least one thing doesn't work for me without the other. That's why I spend a few months exclusively on music, and then I return to photography again.

Photography sometimes tells more

about the author, what he wants to report about himself. Photography has found meaning for me, that's why I continue to do it. Just beautiful pictures — that's the point I don't see.

I came to St. Petersburg to become a musician.

She worked at a recording studio and at the same time worked on her own project. I recorded three tracks, faced burnout, went into depression and discovered photography. I returned to music only this year and with a new approach: not to sweat.

But that wasn't what twisted her. The drama of life, real events frighten and hurt much more than scary stories.

I remember getting up at five in the morning when I was

at school, to have time to watch another movie before leaving the house. Mom scolded me, said that it would distort my psyche. But that wasn't what twisted her. After all, horror is fiction, staging, artificiality of characters and situations, deliberate intensity of emotions that should reach the audience that occupy the last rows in the cinema hall. The drama of life, real events frighten and hurt much more than scary stories.

I happened to observe how one

negative event the event affected the human psyche and became the object of his sexual attachment and fantasies. It seemed amazing to me how our consciousness distorts the trauma for itself, makes sweet out of salty.

It sounds a bit anthropophagic, because in fact I can't

to completely appropriate someone else's features, I know that perfectly well. I sort of reflect them, admire them, and so I can look for myself. This is something I couldn't achieve by taking self-portraits. Isolated self-examination does not help in the search. Interaction with other people is necessary. All you will find in yourself is a heap of some insults, memories, chewed—up stories that do not shine with novelty. Everything beautiful that you can create, you do not dig up, but construct. And people help you with this.

07 / Subconscious

All you will find in yourself is a heap of some insults,

memories, chewed-up stories that don't shine with novelty. Everything beautiful that you can create, you do not dig up, but construct. And people help you with this.

NOMAD

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